Elena Mordovina

Soviet kids. Anya

Anya was growing up as a good unloved girl. Her mom constantly complained to all her neighbors and relatives: "Look at this girl, she eats so much!" or "Only munches and munches! Taking in account her thinness:  “I just don’t understand - how it all settles in."

Anya used to eat really a lot, but just once a day - in the evening - when her mother prepared supper for the whole family. The girl was not allowed to light a stovetop. If she made herself a sandwich, this was followed by reproaches: "Oh, she ate all the sausages again. How can you eat so much!" When Anya visited her friend after school, she looked with admiration and envy at how the girl reheated mashed  potatoes with cutlets in a frying pan and opened a can of Hungarian tomatoes herself.

No, Anya didn’t complain or suffer – there were more important things to think about - she read books and studied, studied and read books. And every evening she was waiting for her mother coming from work – mom always brought some fresh rolls. "Look, how she attacked them! Wait till supper. How can you eat so much!" Anya drank tea with a roll and waited for supper.

She ate really a lot at supper – everything that had been given, and always asked for seconds. Mom looked at Anya’s father reproachfully: "Well, look how much she eats!"

It was believed that she had lunch at school, but the school lunch, which was served after the second lesson, only satisfied the hunger left after the morning sandwich, and she sank into studying again. She studied very well - almost perfectly. And waited for the weekend.

During the weekend, finally, she could eat. Her mother cooked for the entire family twice a day. Therefore, when all her friends went in for sports or attended art and music schools, messed around or arranged parties, Anya preferred to stay home and read books. It’s not likely she realized that she was afraid to miss the opportunity to eat - she was a very polite girl and she had never even thought of that. She just thought she liked reading books, but didn’t  like walking, and didn’t like any entertainment either.

When her mother got married the second time, Anya started to go blind, so as not to look at his vile face munching at breakfast. She started to grow deaf, so as not to hear their snoring and talking. She began to lose her sense of smell, because it was unbearable to live with the smell of a stranger. At first, she lost her voice so as not to tease her mother's husband, and then her body disappeared too, so that he couldn’t see her young breasts trembling. On the day of her coming of age, Anya moved to a spacious six-bed room in a mental ward. At home, in her room, she was replaced by a little boy.

Elena Mordovina is a Ukrainian author best known for her novel The White Balance. Since 2003 Elena Mordovina also works as a vice chief editor of Kreschatik international literary magazine. Her first book, The Wax Dolls, was published in Sankt-Petersburg in 2010. She’s also the author of the children's fantasy novel series, which soon will be published in English as Ghostarium.